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2018年1月18日雅思考试大作文范文：讲座授课是否有意义

2018-02-05 14:20:11来源：网络 柯林斯词典

　　雅思写作大作文批改：

　　1.Although lectures are normally used to teach students knowledge, there has been an argument that students no longer need to attend lectures, due to the development of technology.

　　There is no error in this sentence. It just sounds better and more natural without "knowledge". In English, lectures GIVE students knowledge, and lectures teach students CONCEPTS or INFORMATION.

　　In the past, lectures were used as a way of teaching large numbers of student, but now with the development of technology for education, many people think there is no justification for attending

　　2.Personally, I think that lectures deserve a place in the education system.

　　"Educational" is an adjective that describes the "system". The word "education" is NOT an adjective.

　　3.This educational model is important especially for those people who have work commitments.

　　This educational model is important, especially for those people whom have work commitments.

　　Another suggestion might be: "This educational model is important, especially for those people who have commitments such as work or family."

　　4.They are likely to outperform in the related area easier.

　　There is nothing wrong with this sentence, but it may not logically flow with the rest of the essay.

　　5.Online courses provide people with opportunities to gain access to knowledge without payingfor educational expenses.

　　Need to add preposition. For more information, search for phrasal verbs

　　6.In this way, they students are more likely to pursue a university degree, especially for thosefrom with disadvantaged backgrounds.

　　If we use the word "they" too much, it becomes unclear what "they" means. There is no error, but it just makes writing more clear.

　　We would say people WITH disadvantaged backgrounds or we could say people WHO COME FROM disadvantaged backgrounds.

　　On the other hand, attending lectures plays an inevitable role in preparing people for their future careers.

　　"Inevitable" was just misspelled.

　　We need to use "careers" because if we don't, then that would imply that all those people would have one and only one collected career that they would somehow share. This is a very common technical mistake.

　　For example, we would want to say "Teachers help students with their futures." not "Teachers help students with their future."

　　7.This can help them make a transition into the workplace.

　　Preposition. There is a great book called "The Only Grammar Book You Will Ever Need" for these very minor subtle errors.

　　8.To summarise, I believe that attending lectures remains the most important way for students to acquire new knowledge and achieve good performance, although technology and the internet are likely to make learning easier.

　　You can make it better by writing:

　　"To summarise, I believe that attending lectures remains the most important way for students to acquire new knowledge and achieve good performance, although technology and the internet are likely to facilitate learning."


本文关键字: 雅思写作 雅思范文

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