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如何改好雅思的低分作文

2014-10-15 17:40:37来源:网络 柯林斯词典

  相信谙熟雅思写作考试的烤鸭对于考官给出的高分甚至满分的范文已经非常熟悉了,那么试试看

  自己动手改造那些低分的范文, 可以加深对评分标准的理解,尤其是一些扣分点。也许有些扣分点正是你曾经难以逾越的鸿沟,那么现在让我们一起战胜扣分阴影。

  以C4T4综合类小作文为例:

  You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

  The charts below give information about travel to and from the UK, and about the most

  popular countries for UK residents to visit.

  Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make

  comparisons where relevant.

  Write at least 150 words.

  Band 5考官评语

  The response is under-length (138 words). The candidate reports the key information in the first graph i.e. that visits to and from the UK increased and that the increase in visits from the UK was more marked than that of visits to the country. In the bar chart the information is also reported accurately. However, the references to are confusing to & dollar, suggesting that the candidate has not fully understood the information given, and there is little attempt to relate the two diagrams or to make comparisons across the information given.

  There is a brief introduction to the topic, with and attempt to paraphrase the rubric; the overall reference, however, resulting in a considerable amount of repetition of key vocabulary.

  There is a fairly narrow range of sentence types and errors occur in verb formation and in the use of tense.

  简单总结下来该文章扣分的主要原因:

  1. 字数不够

  2. 信息点和信息之间的连接不准确,因为没看懂图表

  3. 另个图的对比不够充分

  4. 重复次数过多

  5. 句式缺乏多样性,语法错误多

  升级版范文:

  A line graph, combined with a bar chart, shows us statistical information regarding the number of people traveling to or from Britain during 1979 and 1999 as well as the popularity of 5 different destinations for the British respectively.

  In 1979, the amount of travelers both to and from the UK start similarly around 10 million, and show a steady increase to 15 and 20 million separately in approximately 1986. From then on, however, visits abroad by UK residents go up dramatically, reaching 52 million in 1999 while the figure of foreigners coming to the United Kingdom rise continuously but less significantly, ending at about 28 million.

  France is the most attractive place for British citizens with as many as 11 million visitors in the single year of 1999, followed by Spain that attracts almost 10 million people. In contrast, less UK residents choose to go overseas to America, Greece and Turkey by only 4, 3 and 2 millions respectively in the given year.

  Overall, although a growing number of people come to UK or leave it for other places, a greater amount of British people tend to travel abroad. In addition, they prefer relatively nearer destinations like France and Spain to America, Greece and Turkey. ( 206 words)

  有精力复习或者想冲高分的烤鸭们,别再犹豫了,自己也动动手,给低分范文一个逆袭的机会!


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